Okay, truth is I don’t blog much, maybe once in a blue-moon. But… it happens, shit happens! I love a challenge, I love trying something new… most of all, I love being wrong — so I can learn how to be right!
Knowledge, at least for me, is power. Knowing is seeing, and seeing is understanding. Does that make sense? I dive into the unknown quite frequently, even recently wrote a 15 page how-to on setting up Jenkins for my team. BOY was that fun to figure out, it took me two months, of trial and error just to get it right. So, a blog post was born, but not until after I had written the docs.
I’ve recently made a shift over to a support team-lead role, and with new titles, come new responsibilities, and new challenges. The first of which, is wrangling all active projects in my brain, setting team/client expectations, and keeping everyone happy in the mean time. Admittedly, leaving the build teams, at least for the most part, to become a lead for the support side of the house… I had little to no insight into the happenings over there.
One thing is for sure, I didn’t see any short-term benefit of the move. This is, and will be, a long-term journey for sure, things move fast. I’m still struggling mentally to balancee expectations of 5+ clients at the same time, as well as keeping my team coordinated, and ensuring the project managers have the information they need to keep the rest of the team happy as well.
I also wear a couple other hats, which I’m not sure due to NDA’s I can divulge here, but let’s just say, it’s busy for me. I consider myself an introvert, in fact I’m actually an INTJ personality, for my Myers Briggs Type Indicator. However, I’ve seen myself get progressively more cranky and set in my ways over the past month or two, sometimes it seems necessary, not sure why it should be, but that’s for another post at another time.
Truth is, I took a couple days off work, I was both mentally and physically sick, apparently from stress as my Facebook family pointed out… stress is not food poisoning, who would’ve thought? Years ago I was in a similar mental state, no job, etc… and I remember one thing, “go through it, learn how to deal with it” I kept telling myself. So, that seemed to work out well, and I learned a lot – we’ll see how this goes.
Transitions are hard for everyone, so I’ll continue doing me, and helping others do them! I DO want to get my drive back to code after work, but for now, until the load subsides, I fear any/all of my side projects will decline in maintenance. In fact, I just finished an email letting go one of my long-term clients I’ve had on the side since 2013… THAT was hard… but it had to be done, and I have to move on.
In the end, it’s all about freeing up my mental load, which started today, and will continue throughout time. We have to care about ourselves first, so we can then care about others. You can’t pull a car with a broken tow-truck after all.